Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Saturday continue....

So here I am, as per the promise I have to complete the story of that special and different “Saturday”. It was sharp 7:45 pm when I left from my favorite cafe (Due to it's economic rate and good speed). I reached the Z bridge. I saw the couples sitting in a row with the sidewall along the passage. I also spotted small kids trying to sell balloon to the couples. These small balloon sellers know that they should always target a young unmarried couple because probability of balloon to be sold is higher as these young unmarried couples always try to get rid of them to spend some time alone. And most of the time Balloon sellers are successful in this tactic.

The breeze was chilly and turning chiller in that starlit night. I had never seen so many stars in the sky as it was on that Saturday. It seem that stars are trying to approach the Pune that night and the Z bridge was just a kind of "Bindi with stars" on the face of Pune. Things were too beautiful however the strife in my mind was too intricate to enjoy beautiful things. The whole incident of noon kept shaking me and I was still feeling her voice..her tone and the way she said those words to me, it was really difficult to believe if it actually did not happen and everything was a dream. 

I kept staring at the flowing water in the Mutha River and recite a poem, and something did come up from the heart:

What if she would say ‘No’ if I propose her,
Death must not come to me anyway;
What if I would have been from same cast and religion,
There would never be a chance of “May!!!”

I know I love her from the core of my heart,
What if she would not have the same feeling what I have for her;
I know I would never want to see her cry any way,
What if she doesn’t know that I can die for her smiley face.

What if I could have removed this “What if” from our story,
And everything would have been so simple;
Things could have been apparent and not so blurry,
She could always be there in front of me and I could see her dimples.

As soon as I thought about calling her and tell her how I feel about made me nervus and I started sweating in that chilly night. It was completely a different feeling...a kind of fear to loss something. It was something what I never felt before in my entire life. I tried tossing the coin and thought that I would call her if it fell on head side. The best thing about tossing a coin is that head or tail doesn't matter as you would automatically know what your heart actually wants when the coin is in the air. Similarly, I also knew what I wanted though I still was not daring enough to take that step. 

Finally my fingers again proved to be stronger than my heart, and I dialled her number and there it went.....tring tring.......(mind kept strifing....what would she think)tring tring.......(its almost 8:45 and I am calling her).........tring tring.....tring tring......(herry can you keep quiet!!!)tring ring. No one picked the phone, which increased the tensions in my veins and I was more nerves now. Then I thought not to give up and tried the number again convincing that she might be busy somewhere.....tring tring....(what if she doesn't want to pick my call)....tring tring(what if she get upset as I am calling her at this hour)......tring tring.......Hello....(And my heart beats increased...).

I lost for a few seconds in her sweet 'hello' and woke up when she asked; "Hemant!!!!!kem chho", I replied; "Maja ma". Then she said, "Itni raat ko kya hua". "I was just feeling like talking to you..and don't worry aaj exam nai hai", I replied. She responsed, "You know my family..they never like if someone calls me after 8pm, by the way..what happened to you..itni raat ko to exam bhi nai hai jo tum bahane se call karo; is everything alright"?she smiled. (That actually sounded a bit caring). "I just wrote a poem and felt like reciting it for you", I replied with a conscious tone. And she immediately answered, "I don't want to listen any poem...." and whe kept mum for few seconds and waited for my reply. It seemed that she was kidding but I was not sure if she was serious and could not interpret the tone. Finally she opened her mouth to say, "Offcourse I would like to!!!"
I was so happy to hear that. and I recite the same poem, I was waiting for so long for this and here's the chance...I wanted to live this moment to the fullest and I immediately responded. It was so sponteneous like a curious student answered a question as it was asked by the teacher and she would never have expected that; 

I can be silly if you want me to be so, I could be serious if you think so; I would become a joker and shall never mind..... After all you are my world; I can do anything to make you mind.
"So was that for your girlfriend?", She asked with a tone as she was not aware that I never had a girlfriend until she had come to my life. "May be for my future girlfriend", I replied mischievously. She nodded. There was silence and no one dared to speak for some time. Then I broke the ice by asking how she is doing. She replied, "Why are you calling so many times, you never did so before". "We used to talk atleast once in a day when we were in the office and now you never do so. I just felt like talking to you.", I replied. She said, "No Hemant, I know what you are trying to say but my family is not like that. I can't go out like other girls and they never allow me to do something which is out of the way and our culture. I want to make it very clear now and don't want you to live with any expectation which might hurt you in future."

I tried to say something but I just kept quiet. I was not able to speak and she understood that and broke the silence with her sweet voice, "Hemant, I am keeping the phone..I have to go to sleep now, please don't feel bad about what I said..Good night." 

And that beautiful night turned into nightmare. I couldn't believe what she said and found it hard to stand on my feet. I sat there for almost one hour, quiet, astonished, unaware.

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