Tuesday Morning....27/10/09

Hi Friends,

It’s been a long time I did not post anything in the Blog. Actually there was nothing to post and nothing new in the life for last 10 days. Things are simply getting worse for me day by day. I still remember when I told Sandy about my life, "Bhai I am living a very good life for last 5-6 months and I wonder if some problem is about to come as I really don't have the habit to pass such a good long period in my life. Bhai kuchh to hone vala hai".

And the next day both of our laptops were stolen from our home. Sandy decided to shift to his own flat and I shifted with my Brother.

Now I am changing my topic to her:

I still wonder how I am going to express my feelings to her but the first thing I need is to meet her at least once to say something. Prerna (One of our common friend) is taking too much time for arranging a meet and whenever I call her she has the same reply, "Main try kar rahi hu". Himanshuji ne kaha tha "There's no words called ‘TRY' ". I really don't know what kind of 'TRY' it is.

I visited office on one day and felt like sitting on the same chair where she used to sit. I kept sitting there for two hour and thought nothing but about her. I could feel her touch on the keys of the keyboard. I could still feel her fragrance in the cubical. There were around 18 people in the office but Herry was alone looking at the monitor screen and tapping his fingers on the keyboard and the funny part was that computer was not on.

Then I left the office with an intention to go to college. Suddenly I saw her coming towards me on her bike from the opposite side of the Tilak road and she was smiling like an angel. I started finding myself lucky enough like the character Jonathan of Serendipity who actually met the same girl 3 times on Xmas eve and fell in love in that starlit night. That was simply a coincidence. And then signal turned into Green, which gave me a feeling that whatever I saw was nothing but daydreaming. I was wondering if I would get a glace of her on her kinetic but 'Ittefaq' happens only in Romantic movies. I felt happy and a bit sad. It happens only when you are in love that you experience the feeling of being happy and sad together. I would really feel lucky if someday this 'Ittefaq' would happen to me as well. Finally I reached college with all these thoughts in my mind.

The architecture of my college is awesome. If you would have seen any Karan Johar movie and you might have observed grand ‘Bungalow’, my college is just same. I found one place in a corner where sunrays were streaming from the glass at the same time I could see my image in that glass. It seems to be a beautiful and peaceful place. I took out one of the book which I am reading these days ‘Kite Runner’ and started reading and making notes. I spent a good 2 hours after a long time and I actually enjoyed those two hours. I could see sun was dropping by centimeters every 5 minutes and by the time it was time to go sun was ready to bury itself into the earth.

Deewali Special!!!

Hi Friends,

I have lot to write about yesterday but today I shall make it a Diwali Special.
I woke up early in the morning (10 am) and started cleaning my home. There was a lot to be done so I was dusting, cleaning and trying to arrange my 2 rooms flat so that it should look good and we can welcome Laxmi in the evening.

I asked my neighbor if I can put some water on the stairs and compound so that it should look clean. My neighbor is a bude baba (aap 70 +) and he did say, "Nai beta, jarurat nai hai. Jinko saaf karna chahiye vo to saaf karte nai tum kyu pareshan ho rahe ho. Hamare liye to sare dharm barabar hain fir log hain ki mante nai itni gandgi failate hain - (He was pointing another neighbor who is muslim and he wanted to say that they did not clean at all because he's not bother about Hindu's festival."
Now this is what I have learnt from a senior citizen not to clean staircase and be happy with my house cleaning. But I still cleaned the compound and staircase and followed my Mom's saying - "Suno sabki karo apne man ki".

Few lines on this Diwali:

We say Diwali is the festival of Light,
Why do I see the same dark Jhuggi-jhopdis behind my flat?
We say Diwali is the festival of victory of good over bad,
today only I've seen so many people breaking the signal?
We clean our homes in Diwali by any how,
Why do people empty all their Bins on the road?
Let's promise ourselves and take some resolution;
We shall clean our country and change our nation.

13 Oct 2009...when my brother asked me to write something at deep level..

It was 9:30 pm, we came back from dinner and I simply lie down on my bed after changing. I started writing something and Saurabh asked me to write something deep. He inspired me that I could write something more sensible so I simply started from what was visible around me and believe me, this poem is going to make you think when you complete reading conclusion part of the poem:

Lying on my bed, I can see the ceiling,
How can it be so still?

Books are in front of Saurabh, my brother,
Why is he busy playing with his mobile?

My MBA books are a few inches away,
Why can’t I study and do something productive?

The watch is making clicking sound every after few seconds,
Why can’t it stop for a few seconds?

My music player is helping the environment to be musical,
And I know it will stop in some time.

I can see the half moon through the window,
I know it will disappear in couple of hours.

My Icard is hanging on the window and moving like a pendulum
As the wind blows, And I know it will stop if wind stops.

The world around us is the combination of certain and Uncertain,
Certain is so obvious and does not excite, On the other hand uncertain keeps us in mystery and is the source of motivation.

19 Sep, The day when I met Hemant Arora....

It was sunny Saturday(19 Sep 09). I was in college sitting in front of Computer. I was restless, fretful and uneasy at that time. I was feeling unsatisfied and felt like something is sucking out the blood from my veins without my acknowledgment. Everything inside the Comp-Lab was looking cool except my own image on the monitor of the computer.

Then my hand moved and took the cursor to the face book status space and my fingers started tapping on the keyboard:

"And the wind just went through my ears singing some song when I was on my Bike....

It gave me a message to be continuous, never-stopping, and surrender myself in the service of mankind"

I felt a bit happier after writing couple of lines. Things suddenly started changing for me and I tried to write something again:

She told me not to be scared,

She told me not to be upset;

Then she whispered me to be calm and cool,

She was the first ray of sun that early morning.

I was wondering if it was my mood or I was actually turning into new poet who is trying to fly in the sky of imagination. Whatever it was, I started feeling better and suddenly that Comp-Lab started turning into a beautiful place. Those beautiful and sexy girls of my college started making some sense to me. My straight face started showing a small curve on the monitor screen and I started speaking to myself.

I felt different, unique and unsatisfied traveler in a journey called life. Did I find something or it was a new transition in my life. Would I be able to know what I exactly want from my life? By the time I could figure out the answer, it was 6:25 and lecture time was approaching. It was Research Methodology lecture which is always quite boring. During lecture I took a blank page and wrote something:

The words of professor are buzzing into my ears,
the light of the lamps is flashing into the fans;
Look at the ant crawling through the wall winding up for the day,
The curtains are moving by the wind through the window,
The world looks awesome within the class except the boring lecture by Professor.

Comon Herry, what was that? I certainly couldn't believe myself for few minutes but I actually wrote that. I felt if my subconscious mind was trying to tell me something and I tried my hard to know what exactly it wanted to say. And then I felt if the doors just opened for a fraction of second and I saw whatever I want from my life. I could listen what my subconscious mind was trying to tell me and I started recalling those books telling about subconscious mind proved to be fact telling stories.

After the lecture I found myself different but it was not lecture what brought that change into me. It was just my subconscious mind who was responsible for this transition and I could feel that in my talk, vibes and actions.

Days with Sandy....

• What if you had been given an opportunity to express and you have nothing to say?
• What if you desperately want to speak but your thought process does not allow you to speak anything?
• What if you simply start writing your blog without any topic in your mind?
  
  
  And that’s what I am doing today. It’s 6:05 am and I just gave a break to my trainees and took a break from office hours for writing my BLOG. Let me make it clear that I don't have any intention to take revenge from my company by writing my blog in office hours(like Chetan Bhagat, when he started writing five point someone). It has become my friend and I can’t stop myself from posting ‘something’ everyday. Now before you go ahead, let me tell you that ‘something’ is always not interesting so you might end up wasting your time.
  
  
  By the way, I was happy to receive call from Sandy today, as he called me after a long time and wanted to know about my Blog. It made me happy, that he called me and gave me the flash back of those days when our days were so restless that we used to go for a cup of tea to Railway station at 2:00 am in the morning. There was also a phase when our weekend did not pass without having alcohol and smoke. We used to convince our self and give reason behind our alcohol and Smoke.
  
  Thanks for those moments Sandy and let me dedicate some lines to our friendship:
  When the days were restless and nights went sleepless,
  We were least bothered about our lifestyle;
  We tried hard learning from each other and took us out of that mess,
  And cracked foolish jokes to make our face smile;
  I still remember those after dinner walks,
  And philosophy we used to discuss to make this world better;
  We went on waking up nights to have our talks,
  Why did we bother about all the world’s matters?
  
  I still miss those days when I was busy with my so called clients,
  You spent all the Sunday roaming in the ground busy with mind strife;
  I used to regret but did not have any other option in my mind,
  Then we ended with smile and carried the journey called life…..

On the cost of Consumer Behavior exam....;)

It's 5:33 pm and I have my Consumer Behavior exam at 7 pm, still I managed some time to write, that's what the quality of manager is. One of my friend Himanshu used to say, "Jo log mng me jaldi uthte hain vo darte hai ki kahin jindgi ki daud me peeche na reh jayen, aur hume dekho hum der se uthne k baad me jaldi uthne valo ko peechhe chhodne me yakin rakhte hain". Very true Himanshu, and your philosphy helped me writing blog at inappropriate time.

So here's the good news guys. When you love someone, even the voice of her sounds like music, you completely forget what to talk and prefer listening to the laughter, feeling the smile and visualizing what other person might be doing at that time.

After yesterday, I was not feeling very great today however I was normal but not happy. This feeling took my fingers to my cellphone and dialled her number(my fingers are stronger than my heart). By the way I talked to her for 9 mins 40 secs. See how precisely I have mentioned the time. All these things automatically becomes important when you feel that way. During these 9:40 Mins, she laughed, she giggled and sometimes she did smile and I kept wishing if I could be in front of her to see her reaction. I tried my best to be humorous and I guess I succeeded. And at last here are the lines:

She was laughing while talking to me on her cell phone,
I wish if I could feel her breathe if I would have been her earphone;

I kept trying hard to be humorous at the same time maintained my tone,
At last when we had nothing to say we kept mum and lone;
My memory will keep an entry for this conversation in a special zone.

God!!!! don't do this to me this time....

It was Tuesday afternoon. My cellphone rang and woke me up multiple times. Then Saurabh walked in and I couldn't sleep afterward. It's 7:23 PM and I didn't have anything after morning 8:30 am maggi. It seems that world had suddenly stopped for me and I am still wondering how to start it again.

God always takes my hard test before giving me anything or I should say everything. I don't know why but today I really found floor slipping from my feet. I was numb, dead and frozen for couple of minutes when I came to know that she is about to get engaged with someone. Her family decided the guy and she would be known as the wife of the guy after 10-12 months. Thanks to a friend who helped me getting this information. After few minutes of numbness, I felt that Herry can not be dead, Herry can not be a loser again and Herry is going to propose her and not let her go with anybody whom she had never loved or known.

Now guys we all have to pray for myself (I've to be selfish here) and give me a chance to meet her once so that I would not regret the whole life. Let me define this moment in some lines:

Sometimes God gives you happiness for a short time,

Herry felt the same way and reached cloud number 9;

After a short time of happiness God please save him from pine,

Accept his wish and bring her to make Herry's face shine.

These are fiction and not to be compared with anyone's life :)

I didn't see her since Sep 30

On the very second day i.e. 30 Sep, I met her and she actually praised my poem I wrote for her. I straight away went to washroom and danced for 5 seconds. I would have danced more if that security guy would not have come in.

I never though if I would be so crazy about a girl but now I actually did. I called her on Thursday but I was really not sure what to talk however I still talked to her for 5 minutes. As soon as I hung up the phone, so many things started coming into my mind what I should have discussed or asked her to engage her in conversation. I was still feeling happy after that 5 minutes which gave me a chance to listen to her beautiful voice and imagining if she is standing in front of me. Well my imagination has become so strong for last few days that I can imagine her anywhere anytime.

I also had some lines and will post them soon.

Request you guys to criticize so that I can improve.

To be continued.....

Happiest day in my life..continued

Then there was some discussion about love and marriage. Rohan was asking for an explanation for these two. I didn’t leave this chance to express my feelings and said, “When we love someone we should not use our mind and look for explanation if we should love that girl or not depending upon various factors like cast, language etc, otherwise it can not be love. Love needs to be unconditional otherwise its not love." And someone just broke out in tears after listening to my words. I really had no idea what was the reason but she did broke out in tears.

I tried to console her but was unable to think of the big “WHY” behind her tears. Without thinking too much I just escaped her eyes to wipe out a single drop behind my specs. I don’t know why it came out and she noticed me wiping out that tear.

Now I again got a chance to express my feelings as everybody was asked to sing a song and without thinking too much I sang “Mera tujhse hai pehle ka nata….”. Now it was her chance and she sang, “Ajeeb dastan hai ye..”. Now I was feeling her vibes and she was staring at me in a very strange manner and I couldn’t look into her eyes at that time. I started shivering at 3 noon. And I just was recalling that Hindi bollywood song “sardi me paseena..”...kya aisa sahi me hota hai??

Whatever it was a great feeling and I am considering that 20% my proposal is already accepted.

Guys!!!!!!!!!pray for me and wait and watch more….

Thanks for reading my Blog..


This is complete fiction and not to be compared with anyone's life. If the same matches your life, it may be a coincident :)